Well, here we are 10 years to the day that my dad passed away. In many ways it has been a long time 3,652 days. But in other ways it was just like yesterday.
It is erie how I remember so clearly the events of the night he died. It is also interesting how that event gets treated through time. It sorta sits there as a marker. Something that kinda shouldn't be there but is. Because it is a marker it tells us a lot about us and our response to the event. I mean there should be memory. But do we each remember the positive things about him, or do we remember the stressful things about him? The impacts of events on social memory is deep, embedded in our psyche, and reflected in the presence or absence of the objects we permit around us. I have struggled over the years with which objects to keep and which object to release (especially those objects which remind me of my dad). For me it is an even harder struggle than some: as a third culture kid the object made home what it was because we were "constantly" moving. Places and people were ever changing. But somethings were the collection of "home".
In the time that has passed I got married. I had a beautiful baby girl. These are exemplars of events and relationships post an era "with dad". Life does go on. But I struggle with how to remember my dad.
I find myself (alarmingly at age 33) not able to remember names - like one day I couldn't remember the name of my boss. It is like the proper names of general nouns are missing. It used to be just the names of people. But now it happens to things too. So, I wonder how should I best remember my dad. I have little things in my office: a photo of us white water rafting and his Gideon New Testament. I have hopes someday to write my memories of dad in a book or in a collection. (In fact I have started several times). But then I wonder how should the collection be organized. Or what point of view should the the stories take? I feel a double responsibility: one to pass on to my kids something about their grandfather, and a responsibility to share with the youngest of my sibblings about their dad. Yet my point of view is currently neither mild nor neutral. So for the time being I am quiet. I hope for the day when my sibblings and I can collectively share our memories with eachother. And I look forward to the day when my dad will be able to answer the questions I posed to him shortly after his death.
Well, we have been tasting solid foods for about two weeks. There was apricot jam, toast, apple juice, carrots, apple, Moriah’s halla bread. So tonight we start with cucumber and avacado. She is well coordinated in getting the spoon into her mouth on her own though it seems that she is more interested in chewing on the spoon as teething relief than for its food content.
Car won't start, I am not sure if it is the starter or something electrical. Remember my previous post about being grateful my car was not towed, that was the beginning of my Stater going out. It died a few days later in my drive way. The hiatus from having an operational car inspired Becky and I to bike more. Believe it or not, this is one of the first times I have turned to YouTube for a non-digital solution of video based learning. I watched the following videos which taught me how to test my starter. Continue reading
I research all sorts of things... but one area I do not do enough research in is fun - especially winter fun.
With the resent 5" (or theres about) of snow in Eugene I thought I would pull a memory or two out of my past and take a look online to see if I could find any pictures. I am particularly interested in sledding. This is sorta new. Let me explain. Growing up I learned to ski. It was an individualistic sport and did not require cooperation. In contrast to the atmosphere around skiing (at least my exposure to it), sledding is much more of a social enterprise. In database terms, in stead of a one-to-one relationship (skier to skies) it is a many-to-one relationship (people to sled). Give this past I think it might be time to revisit the sled in context of the social element and re-evaluate "sledding".
Last night some students in Becky's program and I got out to a local hill and went sledding. It was a blast. Even though I am the guy in the red jacket.
It reminded me of a sled my dad had when I was in the third grade. The only picture I could find on the Internet for the make/model is below.
I wrote my mom this morning asking for an Apple Crisp recipe. She sent me one. Becky and I made Apple Crisp tonight from the apples I picked the other day.Continue reading
Today I gave Becky her birthday gift. I got her a guitar stand and a new hat. The perfect combo to help someone move into a new place, a new level of interest in an old skill and a new look/persona to go with the music.